Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Serial Killer


Fall is here, and fall where I live means two things to me, MICE and FLIES! The flies lurk outside the door, swarming, knowing their days are numbered if they remain outside, for it is getting colder. If they only knew certain death is their destiny if they enter the doors of my house. For I am a Serial killer, they may think they can fly in unnoticed, that they can just buzz around in the window seal, or land on plate of food to get a snack, and no one will be the wiser.

I stalk my prey, they don't even see it coming, maybe if they are lucky, I'll let them get comfortable, stay a day inside the nice warm house, and when they are least expecting it, I attack, my weapon of choice is Revenge Fly Bomb, sure I have tried various ways of torture, the fly swatter, or hair spraying them until they can no longer move, but in the Fall, I must use a weapon of mass destruction, the quantities are too great.. I fog each room, laughing as they start to panic, as they try to fly to fresh air, I slam the door, and go on to my next victims! Then when the entire house is sprayed, I leave, as they suffer and die. When I return, I smile as I sweep up all the dead bodies off my floor. I do not care if the odor may cause brain damage, or cancer to humans, it is a price I am willing to take.....

I will not confess the murders of the mice today, for I have already said way to much.........

19 comments:

Brittany said...

Parley is only good for eating flies. He doesn't catch mice at all. Probably because I had him declawed.

Erin said...

Flies are such pests! I think I would rather have flies than spiders though. Unfortunately, I think baby-sized daddy long legs are taking over my floors. Yuck!!!

Kristina P. said...

I thought flies were more prevalent in the summer? Hmmm.

Oh, and I'm eating cupcakes from So Cupcake right now. I'm meeting the contest winner later tonight, and of course, had to pick some up for myself.

Don't worry, I'll still have plenty of room when I win yours.

Erin The Great said...

Little fly carcuses?? I can only hope the mice are disposed of differently or that would get really messy...and gross.

On a totally seperate note, I think if Kristina wins the yummy goodness you're giving away, I think there should be a clause in there that makes her have to save like 2 for me. Yeah 2 should do nicely ;)

Erin The Great said...

So this is how much I think you should let me win the treats.... I went through your most recent comments and edited them with your actual name and URL... It's because you're my friend and I care.... Feeling guilty yet?? :) :) :)

Wendy said...

Brittany. I would pay money for a cat that ate flies!!

Erin.. I bet you'd hate flies more if you had 100 in your kitchen!!!

Kristina... thanks again for rubbing in that I didn't win the cupcakes, I was so hurt by it, I had to make up my own giveaway!!

Erin... If it were that easy to spray the house and kill all the mice, oh I would baby!! because we have live mice that will run across the kitchen floor, I would rather have a dead one that my husband could throw away!!
I'll let Kristana know your terms on the cupcakes!

Fitzwater Family said...

Kill, Kill, Kill. Then there will be less for me. For I am a serial fly killer myself.

Vanessa said...

Kristina better not eat all my cupcakes before I get up there to get them tonight!

HATE when the flies come in. Maybe if my kids would shut the door behind them, it wouldn't be such a problem!

Wendy said...

Flies are really bad in the summer, but in the fall they panic and seriously swarm at our door to get inside, and they are they yuck sticky kind!! and Victoria, that is our problem, kids leaving doors open, I am the door natzi at my house!

So said...

I hate flies. And mice.

Thankfully we have neighborhood cats that keep us mice free. Flies however are still around. I just use a swatter.

*MARY* said...

My kids freak out if there's a fly in the house. They won't stop worrying until it's dead and they see it being flushed down the toilet.

Jillene said...

My kids freak about the flies too. Olivia calls them bees and therfore cause utter panic in the other 2 because they think there is a bee in the house.

I HATE MICE!! They are disgusting, nasty, dirty, ugly little buggers!! Good thing my neighbor feed stray cats because I think they keep the mice away BUT they use my yard as a litter box--it's a double edged sword issue!!

Mommy Madness said...

Flies are HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!

Rychelle said...

one of the perks of living in the desert - no flies!

Kristal said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I wondered why your old blog is house of art - that's cool that you two are artists! I have a ton of questions for you about that, but alas, no time tonight :S

Flies are super annoying, but at least they're not mosquitos or killer bees! We're pretty lucky in the pest dept around here {thank goodnes!}

Kristina P. said...

Wendy, it's still there! I took off House of Art, because I thought you didn't want people to possible comment about your other blog.

But your new blog is still there!

Wendyburd1 said...

I hate ANY bug in the house...I miss the house bug bombs...they are harmful to dogs so we don't use them anymore! Dang-it! The only drawback of having a cute dog! There's this thing in AirMall magazine, I always covet it when I fly and flip thru the mag. It's like a vacum with a LONG handle and traps and KILLS spiders and bugs, in this gel stuff, and you just pop the catridge out when done. COVET!!

Octamom said...

Now I'm trying to imagine what you do to mice and what price you're willing to pay for that removal--somehow I'm thinking that a humane trap and releasing them back to the wild is probably not your style (hee hee!!!!) I'm picturing carving knife kind of technology on rodent removal....

Hugs and no bugs!
Blessings!

ramsam said...

I have always stuck to a swatter- but these foggy bombs sound so much more fun.
Plus you have an excuse to leave the house for a while and not come back. I am glad you are a murderer of annoying things. Kind of like Dexter for insects and Rodents.